Common theme of the world we live: avoidance, avoidance, avoidance.
We run from the hard, tough emotional stuff. The most difficult, gut wrenching conversations. We stay in relationships out of comfort when we know it isn’t right or because we are AFRAID of the negative emotions: failure, loneliness, loss of comfort and “what we know.” And oh but WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY/THINK 😱
I’ve had to handle certain things step by step and only when I was ready did I do it – on my time. But I had a fire lit under me from my friend Rebecca who said to me that she was once told “God can’t steer a parked car.” That has resonated with me in more areas of my life than 1. I’ve had to put my big girl panties on (so many times when I didn’t want to after Paul died) and take care of business. I have had to have some very hard conversations I didn’t wanna have – cry a lot of tears that felt endless to get to where I am. And actually, it’s never ending. For example, for work I have to get certified for CPR on the 18th of this month. Anyone that knows my situation knows that I am internally freaking out and could vomit at the thought of having to do this. But I’ll do it – because nothing here on this earth is going to define me or break me.
Is this because I’m strong? Maybe. Is this because I have to do it? Partially. Is it because I have bills to pay? Basically. Bottom line: I’m doing what I have to do in order to take care of my shit here. Because no one else is gonna do it for me. I’m not saying the generation we are seeing is all bad because I’m not a negative Nancy, but we have a lot of entitled folks running around expecting everyone else to fix their problems and/or pay for them. That is the sober reality of adulting. There’s no escaping responsibility anymore. You own your life and your decisions 100% and don’t expect a damn thing from anyone else – no bail outs given here.
You’ve heard it once and I’ll say it again…you have 1 shot at this life. That’s it. I know my husband lived his life to the fullest – pursued every dream in his 29 years that he could in that time. I admire that so much and strive to live that kind of life. So in my heart when I see people settling, sitting on their hands while their world is going up in flames meanwhile sporting their rose colored sunglasses, I want to scream – DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE?! You’re settling for less than what God intended for you!
I’m blessed to be surrounded by people who have hard conversations- who I say act as my voice of reason – who don’t tell me what I want to hear but what I NEED to hear. Those are the relationships that give life, that define friendship, that give the utmost perspective, that ultimately give the most love. Those are the friends that say I love you so much that I’m gonna tell you when you’re wrong here before you make a mistake. No one is in the business of hurting people’s feelings (unless you’re just a complete asshole)…but we have got to understand there’s a way to communicate our feelings (and be receptive to hearing someone’s feelings) without getting butt hurt. Go back to 2nd grade and use the “I feel ____ when you ____.” Let’s stop being so daggone sensitive/offended and listen to what people are telling us. I believe 99% of the time, hurt feelings are just miscommunication- most people never have the true intention of actually hurting someone else. Maybe I’m too nice with that statistic but I know I’ve had to take a step back many times and say ok I know that person would not want or be trying to hurt me. And for the love of God, call someone on the phone or speak in person. Stop texting, writing messages over social media or emailing 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Lots of thoughts that I just wanted to give a voice to. I walk around with a smile on my face most times when I feel I’m certainly entitled to be the biggest bitch ever because of the cards I was dealt. But who would benefit from that? No one. Would I be true to myself if I did that? No. So if I can be kind, you can be kind. If I can get up every single day that I don’t want to, so can you. If I can own my shit, so can you. If I can be real, SO CAN YOU. Embrace the life we were given even if it sucks right now. And figure out your stuff and stop being so expectant on other people.
P.S. I think I’m sassier at 30 than I was in my 20’s…#sorrynotsorry
Keeping it real since 1989 ✌🏼